DC Diary. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

BLOGS

DC Diary. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

2010.05.05 12:09

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
She says, "There is so much to do; I don't have any time for myself."
Tom says, "You should quit that job. You don't have to work so hard. Find something you like to do."
Mary says, "But I like my job. They just expect me to change everything at a moment's notice."
Tom says, "Don't listen to them. just do what you can do."
Mary says, "I am! I can't believe I completely forgot to call my aunt today."
Tom says, "Don't worry about it, she'll understand."
Mary says, "Do you know what she is going through? She needs me."
Tom says, "You worry too much, that's why you're so unhappy."
Mary angrily says, "I am not always unhappy. Can't you just listen to me?"
Tom says, "I am listening."
Mary says, "Why do I even bother?"

Does it sound familiar? Do you make such mistakes talking to your partner? How to avoid such misunderstandings?
We were talking about these and similar topics during our two last meetings and I'm not sure we have run out of ideas.

What I would like to share with you the most is a short vocabulary which can help you to understand your wife/husband  or your date better. And here it is:
Dictionary
"We never go out" 
She "I feel like going out and doing something together. We always have such a fun time, and I love being with you. What do you think? Would you take me out to dinner? It has been a few days since we went out.“ 
He "You are not doing your job. What a disappointment you have turned out to be. We never do anything together anymore because you are lazy, unromantic, and just boring."

"This house is always a mess" 
She "Today I feel like relaxing, but the house is so messy. I am frustrated and I need a rest. I hope you don't expect me to clean it all up. Would you agree with me that it is a mess and then offer to help clean up part of it?" 
He "This house is a mess because of you. I do everything possible to clean it up, and before I have finished, you have messed it up again. You are a lazy slob and I don't want to live with you unless you change. Clean up or clear out!"

"You don't love me anymore" 
She Today I am feeling as though you don't love me. I am afraid I have pushed you away. I know you really do love me, you do so much for me. Today I am just feeling a little insecure. Would you reassure me of your love and tell me those three magic words, I love you. " 
He "I have given you the best years of my life, and you have given me nothing. You used me. You are selfish and cold. You do what you want to do, for you and only you. You do not care about anybody. I was a fool for loving you. Now I have nothing."

"We are always in a hurry"  
She "I feel so rushed today. I don't like rushing. I wish our life was not so hurried. I know it is nobody's fault and I certainly don't blame you. Would you empathize with me and say something like, 'It is hard always rushing around. I don't always like rushing either."
He "You are so irresponsible. You wait until the last minute to do everything. I can never be happy when I am with you. You ruin things every time I am with you."

"I'm OK" 
She "I am not willing to share with you my upset feelings. I do not trust you to be there for me." 
He "I am OK, I can deal with my upset. I don't need any help, thank you."

"It's no big deal"  
She "You are making a big deal out of nothing. What concerns you is not important. Don't overreact." 
He "It is no big deal because I can make things work again. Please don't dwell on this problem or talk more about it. That makes me more upset. I accept responsibility for solving this problem. It makes me happy to solve it."
I wish you the best and deepest understanding with your partner!
Be informed that this Thursday we are not meeting!
I'm looking forward to our next meeting on May 13th. Have a nice holiday! 
 

Автор: DC Diary